I Love You, Don't You Know That?
by Yulisenpai
Summary: One-shot: Kise Ryouta's self-dialogue on his feelings for Aomine Daiki. "Hey, won't you come back? I'm sorry. Please, come back to me. I love you. Only you, forever and always. You know that, don't you…? …Yeah, I thought so." It's short and it may seem jumbled up, but I'm putting it in the perspective of Kise trying to convince himself he's fine, and his thoughts are running wild.


Why have you done this to me…?

Why have you done this…?

What have I done to you…?

What have I taken from you…?

What is it you want…?

What is it you want to accomplish…?

Pain?

Fear?

Hopelessness?

Desperation?

Pleasure?

Revenge?

All of the above…?

Don't be so cruel… I have done nothing in spite of you…

I have loved and lost…isn't that enough?

No?

What more do you want from me…?

What more can I give you to get rid of you…?

Please tell me.

I loved you.

I lost you.

Because you wanted this.

And now you come back into my life, and give me a hard time.

It's your fault this happened.

It's my fault.

Please, I don't want you anymore.

It hurts.

You're hurting me.

I already hurt you.

Come back to me.

Please.

Let's try again.

No?

That's fine.

I'm better off without you.

You're better off without me.

I see you trying to torture me.

You're trying to get a reaction from me.

Why?

Because you think I'll give you the pleasure of seeing me feeling hopeless?

C'mon now, you know me better than that, don't you?

You do.

You know me so well I fear living without you.

Why did you do this to me…?

Why did you leave…?

Was I not good enough?

Was he better?

Were you even into red-heads?

Since when?

You've always liked blondes.

I thought you and I were 'forever'.

No?

Then why lead me on for so many years?

You loved me, I know you did.

We had the greatest sex to boot.

So what changed?

What's so good about him, that you went running like a little bitch with its tail tucked between its legs to him?

Is he a better fuck?

Don't tell me you bottom now?

No?

I'm glad.

Each time I asked to reverse roles, you vehemently refused.

Why?

I'm sure if _he_ asked, you'd actually consider it.

Why was I refused?

Why do you continue to remind me of what was?

Haven't you had enough?

Are you going to come back to me?

No?

Then, please, for the love of God, leave me alone.

Stop bothering me and reminding me of such painful memories.

Stop showing him off in front of me.

Stop .

Please, stop.

I have always loved you, so please, stop hurting me.

Did I hurt you so bad you want to hurt me?

But I didn't hurt you, did I?

No.

I just showed you what was wrong with what we had.

I pointed out things you didn't like.

Why would you avoid the inevitable?

When I reminded you that our relationship had no merits, you left and didn't come till three days later.

You smelled of _him_.

When I questioned you, you avoided the topic, and avoided me.

But could you blame me for pointing out the obvious?

We cannot bear children.

We cannot get married.

I didn't want to get 'adopted' into your family, because I wanted something more.

I wanted the wedding bells, the fanfare, the happily ever after.

With you.

Didn't you want the same?

No?

Then why?

Why did you stay with me for so long?

Did it scare you when I brought up the future, and how we didn't have one?

Could you blame me?

I was so scared.

So scared of losing you, so I had to face reality.

I hoped you would face it with me and we could conquer it together.

Because we loved each other.

Didn't we?

I loved you.

You told me you loved me too.

But when the tough got going, so did you.

You ran straight for _him_.

Did he not have the same fears I did?

Does he not fear the future?

No?

That's a load of crap, don't you think so?

I enlightened you.

I helped you.

I hurt you.

Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

Maybe the thoughts should have stayed, growing in the depths of my mind, slowing consuming me.

Would that have been better?

Better me than you, right?

But I wasn't thinking rationally.

I wasn't in my right mind.

I wanted you, forever, but forever doesn't exist for people like us.

Please understand, okay?

I did it because I loved you.

I loved you so much.

I didn't mean to frighten you… to hurt you.

I wasn't thinking right, I get like that sometimes, and you know that.

C'mon, you _know_ me.

So was there really a reason to react the way you did?

Did you have to go to him?

No?

Then why did you?

Why did you throw our relationship away?

Why did you completely annihilate what we had?

For _him_ , of all people.

You came home later than usual, you smelled of fresh soap, but I could smell the lingering scent of sex on you.

Did you think I wouldn't notice?

Did you think I wouldn't care?

Am I stupid?

No?

Then why?

That's what I want to know: _why?_

But you'll never tell me, will you?

You avoid me like the plague now.

You only show up with _him_ in tow.

It's laughable how hard you try to make me react.

It's laughable that I still care so much about you.

It's laughable that I still love you.

I love you.

Don't you know that?

No?

It's okay.

But keep this in mind, I was your first, your first in _everything_.

So he can't compare to me, you know that don't you?

And know this, Aomine Daiki:

If you ever come back to me, I'll be here.

I'll be here with arms wide open, waiting for you.

I'll embrace you like I did before.

I'll love you even more.

I'll conquer the impossible future, all for you, and make it possible.

Believe me, I can do anything for you.

But you left before I could do _anything_.

You got scared by my words, my thoughts, and ran.

It scared me too.

But I would _never_ think of leaving you.

Never.

Do you know why, Daikicchi?

No?

Because it's impossible to even fathom the idea of a life without you by my side.

It's hard to breathe.

It's hard to sleep.

It's hard to eat.

I am literally wasting away.

All because my world cannot go on without Aomine Daiki in it.

My soul is bound to you, eternally.

Hey, won't you come back?

I'm sorry.

Please, come back to me.

I love you.

Only you, forever and always.

You know that, don't you…?

…Yeah, I thought so.


End file.
